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who are you when nobody's watching?

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https://open.spotify.com/track/4bJygwUKrRgq1stlNXcgMg?si=c72489a762e54f76 who am I when nobody's watching? unfortunatly I immediatly could fill two pages of my note book with possible answers to this particular question like: I'm a peaceful gangster who uses her voice as a delicate tool, I'm an energetic, loud fangirl kissing the book cover of crime and punishment, I'm a half-Revolutionist living in the shadows, only appearing when nobody's watching. I'm an amateur poet, a thrilled story teller, a late night (terrible) singer, an unknown fashion icon, a dirty dancer and a drowning ship full of unwanted melancholy and self-pitty.  I'm a bouquet with delightful flowers and every one of them represents one of my souls, one of my personality traits. Like everybody else I'm a person colored in diffrent nouances, covered with multiple layers. secretly.  Why do I hide behind an avarage, narrow, finite version of myself?  Probably because of fear of rejection, o...
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swimming is like thinking

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  https://open.spotify.com/track/4wajJ1o7jWIg62YqpkHC7S?si=5f5dc6d0d2114df9 "Most people do not want to swim, sooner than they can", quotes Hermann Hesse, Friedrich Nietzsche in his novel "der Steppenwolf". Swimming as well as thinking are skills acquired by human kind, yet not divine gifts by mother nature. A little faintness, one too violent wave and you swallow the sea, you burn your flappy lungs until you can kiss Hades hand and find resolution in the underworld. The same can be applied on thinking, only this time a hurtful memory or a bloody insecurity will make you take the cold blade, slice your warm skin open, until the soulkeeper arrives and collects your spirit. It's as simple as that. I look again at the quote on my handkerchief that I wrote onto the crinkled paper with my red lipstick some minutes ago. The letters awake and start dancing in front of my sparkling eyes, seeming like the most perfect work of art, letting me draw all the meaning out of t...
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fairy dust

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The night begins to stretch into eternity  like an occult, mystic casted spell Shadows glide silently into the dense forest leaving a trace of  fairy   dust  behind  among them the most enchanted being Floating over the moist undergrowth Humming a nymphish melody Reminiscing about her  fairy  companions  she completely merges into her surroundings  her long, silver hair shimmers in the wain of the moonlight her cherry lips tremble indicating  her going into ecstasy Thrilled by the magic of the forest with eudemonia and excitement  entwining her kind soul A thunderbolt strikes  deterring peace, declaring war A superior force, like an inconceivable curse alters a destiny  by violently grabbing the helpless  fairy by tearing her fragile wings apart by forcing her into a bottle similar to some kind of exceptional insect Petrified she remains silent  Only vaguely she perceives the cold whispers  “you are safe now...
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