who are you when nobody's watching?






https://open.spotify.com/track/4bJygwUKrRgq1stlNXcgMg?si=c72489a762e54f76

who am I when nobody's watching?
unfortunatly I immediatly could fill two pages of my note book with possible answers to this particular question like: I'm a peaceful gangster who uses her voice as a delicate tool, I'm an energetic, loud fangirl kissing the book cover of crime and punishment, I'm a half-Revolutionist living in the shadows, only appearing when nobody's watching. I'm an amateur poet, a thrilled story teller, a late night (terrible) singer, an unknown fashion icon, a dirty dancer and a drowning ship full of unwanted melancholy and self-pitty. 
I'm a bouquet with delightful flowers and every one of them represents one of my souls, one of my personality traits. Like everybody else I'm a person colored in diffrent nouances, covered with multiple layers. secretly. 

Why do I hide behind an avarage, narrow, finite version of myself? 
Probably because of fear of rejection, of not fitting in, of being laughted at, of not being admired and loved. Yet, I should fear most to diminish myself, to dissociate from it and to lose my identity. 

What a shame it would be to listen to others, to live for others. 
What a pity to prehibid and punish myself for discovering and enfolding my character.
What a waste of blood and flesh for not exhibiting my glory, my originality, my charme to the world.

There is no need to hide, to pretend, to lie and try to lead a double life, one with yourself and one with others. 

I ask you this time. Come closer I invite you to whisper in my ear: who are you when nobody's watching?

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